May the beauty of what you love be what you do-RUMI

I love this quote. I LOVE IT.

I've kind of abandoned blogging lately.
Teaching is exhausting. I have no idea what it would be like to have my own child 24 hours a day. I do know that having 28 kids in one classroom is a lot. I love it. I really do, but many days I feel so incredibly tired at the end.
This past week was good, really good. My character has been tested so much in the past 2 weeks.
I have been challenged by what it means to live in Western culture, but to seek community in powerful ways. Often song lyrics say things like "This is the air I breather, this is my daily bread." I have been challenged to discover what it means to say "This is the air WE breathe, this is our daily bread." We belong to each other.

One funny kid story.. I have many each day, but I'll give you one...
I asked my students if they had gone anywhere for spring break. One student told me he went o Wisconsin. I said "I went to Wisconsin too!" He looked dumbfounded and said "Well, i didn't' see you there."

Sherry's new lease on life!

My neighbor and friend, Sherry received a new kidney yesterday. Our landlord was a match!

Watch the video here

out of the mouths of babes

I've decided that I am going to begin posting some stories from my first grade classroom. I will keep names confidential. Most of the stories will be lighthearted, funny, and bring insight into this hilarious group of 26 kids.

Yesterday was a particularly rough day, where I was fed up with 4 of the students in my class who have the biggest behavioral problems. I got to the end of the day, and began to just sob. I care about these kids so much. Our school has a very high poverty rate. Many contextual factors influence these kids as they walk in the door to my room. I decided today was a new day and I was goign to go in confident and ready to teach.

For Black History month, I have been reading a book about a different black person each day. Today, I read the childrens book "Barack."
One of the pages in the book compared him to a modern Martin Luther King Jr. It was talking about the obstacles Dr. King had to help us overcome, and how Obama has had to help our nation overcome battles today. The book was talking about the civil rights movement and how schools used to be segregated.

One of the little girls in my class whom we will call M raised her hand with a question: How come schools are supposed to be places where we learn to be kind to each other, and the white people back then went to school and learned to be mean to black people? She then proceeded to say, if we are all supposed to get along, why would they ever separate kids learning by their skin color? She then said "It just doesn't make sense."

If I understood the root of the questions, she was trying to figure out why people would grow up to be so cruel. It was hard for a 7 year old to grasp that schools used to be so segregated. Sadly, some still are today in the inner city. The school I work at, thankfully is fairly diverse representing a spectrum of cultures.

I responded by telling M that her question was quite profound. I tried my best to explain that we are supposed to love but some people have hate in their hearts. I am still reeling with thoughts about this question...

tea talk.

Prescence-1. The state or fact of being present; current existence or occurrence.
2. Immediate proximity in time or space.
3. The area immediately surrounding a great personage, especially a sovereign.
4. A person who is present.

I've had the joy of being apart of Sherry's life for almost 5 years now. I knew her before moving into my house, and now she has lived directly below me for 3 years. She often comes up for tea, and we talk about life. These moments are sacred. Our converstations range from a serious tone discussing hard situations that we are in, to the hilarious moments of our day. This morning she came up; I heated the water , handed her a spoon, the sugar bowl, and a mug. I sipped my coffee, she sipped her tea. We talked about her oldest daughter who is expecting a baby this spring. We talked about my first grade classroom, and the funny stories from the week. She told me more about her anxieties that she has for the kidney transplant taking place in two weeks. ( Our landlord is giving her his kidney!) During the ebb and flow of our conversation her 5 year old, Delone, came upstairs, and her 1 year old grandbaby, Yonathan. She looked over at them and said to me "Just think you met Delone when he was Yonnie's age." As I looked at Sherry's face, and took in her features, I was overtaken by our friendship. She has changed my life. She has transformed the way I look at loving others. This woman, who undergoes dialysis 3 mornings per week has taken in 2 of her relatives kids, and is anticipating being the primary caregiver for her newest grandchild. Her precense is quiet, she often seems tired, but her face radiates with peace.

With warm beverages in hand, we talk sometimes for 20 minutes, other times for a few hours. We've shared tears with each other. Some tears were a result of laughter, and some were from moments that are painful and messy. We have celebrated birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas together. We have had many backyard BBQ's. I've seen her son drum at pow-wows, and her daughter proudly display her Native jingle dress dancing to the beat. We knock on each other's doors asking for sugar, or butter if we are out. I've seen her in the hospital when her health hasn't been very good. I've seen her tears, after pouring our concerns she has for her children. I've seen the look she gives to her children when her heart is welling up with gratitude for them. I've sought advice from her on life situations, work, boys, and much more. When their is a knock at the door most of the time I can guarantee it is Sherry seeing who is around for tea.

I met Savannah, Sherry's youngest the day she came home from the hospital. I have never known any other person through all of their developmental stages. She is such a beautiful little girl. Many of the women who have lived in this house have been deemed her "aunties."

Sherry, I am thankful you are present in my life. Our tea talks are one of the biggest blessings in my life.


( Savannah as a baby)

( Savannah on her 3rd birthday 12/09)





Yonnie- age 1. ( The age Delone was when I met him.)



( Delone-age 5)

2010

The Five Remembrances

1.) I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2.) I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
3.) I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4.) All that is dear to me and everyone that I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5.) My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

These five remembrances are something that Buddhist Monks say three times each day. While I am a follower of Christ, I think relevance could be found in these "rembrances." I don't deserve long life or prosperity any more than thousands of children who starve each day. I don't have more ownership nor am I entitled to God's love more than the next person. I want to live well, I want to live intentionally. I want to love others fully. I am given a life.

This past year brought a lot to reflect on and be thankful for. Some things I am SO glad are over, and I look to 2010 with anticipation and an inkling of hope.


I am glad that my friend Sarah's Mom is now cancer free.
I continue to grieve with two different friends. One lost her mother in August to a long battle with cancer. ( This is my 5th friend from college to have a parent or sibling pass away in the last 4 years.) Another friend recently found out that his Mom's cancer came back.

Their are multiple stories I hear of each day either globally, or dealing with people who I know well. These situations are messy and in need of healing and restoration.

Yet, 2009 also brought forth gratitude.
My arm is fully healed with a crazy scar!
My oldest brother is doing much better after his near-death bike accident in August.

I fall deeper in love with the community I am apart of each day. They have blessed my life beyond measure. ( friends, family, neighbors, church, DinoMights)

I was hired at the school where I did my student teaching. I look to that with anticipation and hope.

In June I am venturing to Kampala, Uganda until August. It has been my dream to do some type of educational work in the continent of Africa for quite awhile.

"GOD SPEAKS TO EACH OF US AS HE MAKES US, THEN WALKS WITH US SILENTLY OUT OF THE NIGHT. THESE ARE THE WORDS WE DIMLY HEAR: YOU SENT OUT BEYOND YOUR RECALL, GO TO THE LIMITS OF YOUR LONGING. EMBODY ME. FLARE UP LIKE FLAME AND MAKE BIG SHADOWS I CAN MOVE IN. LET EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU: BEAUTY AND TERROR. JUST KEEP GOING. NO FEELING IS FINAL. DON'T LET YOURSELF LOSE ME. NEARBY IS THE COUNTRY CALLED LIFE. YOU WILL KNOW IT BY ITS SERIOUSNESS. GIVE ME YOUR HAND" -RILKE

Grace

I am a bit of a grinch when it comes to Christmas gifts. I enjoy the music, being with family, and I do like the holiday treats. I have not even started shopping yet. I might make gifts for my family, who knows....

As a culture we have desecrated a holiday that is meant for a humble baby born in a manger offering love to this world.

The U.S. spends over 5 billion dollars on gifts. People across the world lack food, clean water, and basic needs.

This baby boy, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger came for all of us. He was a human being who roamed this earth.

Last week at school one of the girls in the class came with a gift for me. She lives in a homeless shelter with her Mom and three siblings. The woman who runs the shelter gave each kid a bag with a few games, and little trinkets. This little girl came into school with her bag, and held onto it all day saying she would show me what was in it later. At the end of the day, she pulled me aside and said "this is for you, 'Merry Christmas.' " As a seven year old child taught me more about grace, and accepting a beautiful gift in my grinch-like state, may we all remember to love one another... To love amidst the stress, and consumption of our culture. May we remember to see people, to hear people, and to be among each other.

3rd annual community Thanksgiving

The most famous recorded Thanksgiving took place in 1621. This ‘festival’, which lasted three days, included the participation of nearly one hundred Native Americans. Governor William Bradford had invited the natives to show them appreciation, for helping his colony survive through the harsh weather conditions. Long before the Europeans celerbated Thanksgiving the Cherokee people held harvest festivals, and corn dances. Thanksgiving stands as a holiday to look at life with gratitude. It is a time to celebrate with family and friends.

The Oakland house held its 3rd annual community Thanksgiving this past Saturday. 35 beautiful faces surrounded the banquet table. 5 children under the age of 5. 9 people under the age of 18, and 21 people over the age of 18. Each person that sat around the table has a story. While our Thanksgiving may not go down in the history books as famous, it truly is a time to acknowledge the amazing relationships in our lives.

One of the members of the Oakland house had her three high school girls set the table with white table cloths, name cards for each guest, and place settings. Two neighborhood high school boys acted as waiters, taking orders for juice or milk. One of our neighbors made her famous macaroni and cheese. Another guest from Lithuania, had never made sweet potatoes and one boy in attendance said they were better than his Mama's!

Life was shared, bellies were filled, and laughter permeated the air. As people sat around the banquet table, something beautiful, and sacred occured. It was a true Thanksgiving.

Thanks again to YouthWorks! for helping us make this meal happen.